Dog Envy


SAGINAW - This month, Mike was faced with another of life's cruel dilemmas.  Let me tell you about it....

It all started one evening as Mike arrived home from work.  He came in the front door, hugged
his wife and the kids, and sat down to read the paper before dinner.  That is when it happened. 

Mike's dogs, Shoshone and Du Blaeve, snatched the paper right out of his hands and shredded
it all over the living room! 

"We are fed up!!!", they cried in unison.  Shoshone jumped up onto Mike's lap and spoke.  "We are sick..." 

"And tired!", interjected Du Blaeve, 

"...of all the time you are spending on these other members of the animal kingdom! None of whom, I might add, are your tried and true, ever-loyal, keep-your-feet-warm, personal companion type, live in the same house kind of animals!  We have feelings too, you know!" 

"And needs!", added Du Blaeve. 

Well, Mike didn't know what to think.  He wasn't really surprised that the dogs could talk, in fact he was somewhat concerned that they hadn't done it before  No, it was more bothersome to him that he always thought Du Blaeve was the smarter, more articulate of the two dogs and Shoshone, the dimmer. 

Now, as it turns out, he realized that he had it completely backwards.  This revelation, he
knew, proved the dogs' point. 

"You are right", he began, "I have been neglecting you.   I should have made sure that I spent
quality time with you guys.  I guess I just didn't know how you felt.  How can I make it up to you??" 

The dogs sat and thought for a moment, then Shoshone made the following suggestion..."How about spending a week as a dog, just to see how it feels?  Maybe that would help you to understand how it is for us sometimes." 

"Yeah, feel our pain!!!", added Du Blaeve. 

Mike didn't know of any reason why he shouldn't try it, after all he always wanted to live the "dog's life" for a week anyway, so he agreed. 

This is where the story gets interesting (the deuce you say!).  We have all seen dogs do that "crazy"
bark at nothing thing, just like cats will sometimes run out of a room at top speed for no reason.  Well, the thing is that animals can see things that we can't.  Like the dog fairy. 

Anyway, lo and behold, all of a sudden right there in front of Mike appears the dog fairy.  "Hello guys, what can I do for you today?", the dog fairy asks the dogs. 

Shoshone says, "Turn this zookeeper into a dog for a week.", indicating Mike. 

"Zookeeper?!?!?! Only a week???  Are you sure?????", gasped the zookeeper. 

"Yeah", Shoshone replied.  "He really isn't as bad as all that". 

"Harumph", was the dog fairy's response.  "Very well.  I am not gonna make it easy for him though, no St. Bernard or Great Dane for the likes of him, that is for sure!". 

The dog fairy conked Mike on the head, piddled on his leg, and vanished, leaving Mike in the state you see below.

He is back to normal now, but it was a powerful learning experience for him.  Especially the whole
"alpha-male" thing, which I won't go into here...the dogs are also feeling vindicated and more
appreciated as well.  Even his wife is happy with the outcome, although she does wish that Mike would quit sniffing at her all the time. 

Next...Catch THIS Tiger's Tail

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